IF U WANT TO LIVE LONG AS A MAN.

If u are a man and u want 2 live a long life pls dnt go near ur woman's phone unless u hav shock-absorbers ­­ like me.
I just got home now and met my neighbour(Emeka ­­)crying like a baby,then we got talking.
Me: Mekus wetin happen now...who die nau???
Emeka: Bros na Amaka o
Me: chizoooooosu!!! ­­amaka don die????
Emeka: my brother had it bn she even die sef I no go cry...dis girl has finished me ooo
Me: oya pls calm down and tel me wat happened.
 Emeka: Can u imagine Amaka dat av bn paying her school fees up2 her final year now use idiot 2 save my name in her phone....
Me: mshhhhhhhhhhh na d idiot dey pain u??? even makin u cry? U get time my broda...
Emeka: Bros no be d idiot dey pain me,d tin is dat my own idiot is idiot number 18
Me: hmmm my broda manage d idiot nau, after all my own girl dat I wan 2 marry use Evangelist David 2 save my name in her phone...
 Emeka: (laughing now) na waoo at least dat one is even beta...
 Me: shut up! Wen I scrolled d phone further I saw 3 other evangelists(Ibe ­­,Timothy and Jacob),then 2 pastors(Nike and Anthony),and den 4 Apostles(Chidi, ­­Samuel,Frank,G ­re­g),den 2 Rev(Chika and Ifeanyi)and then one bishop Francis....
Emeka: hahahahahahaha may be dat bishop is d general overseer of her heart and u be ordinary branch pastor!!!!